Sunday, June 22, 2008

Sex Is What You Make Of It

For those of us over 50, our world is often filled with prudes and prurient. Everyone knows sex sells, at any age. Whether or not you are having it. Whether or not you are for or against it. Whether or not it's heterosexual or same sex, it's of interest to all. However, sex changes with added years. Once over fifty, our bodies are like a well worn car. We may get a great new paint jobs, but still some of our parts may get rusty and don't quite work the way they once did. And we often need repairs and/or external and internal overhauls. These changes impact our sex lives. Though desire remains our best aphrodisiac, there is no shame or blame in letting science help where nature may have left off.

Menopause used to be relatively irrelevant, because people didn't live productively (and sexually) for another thirty, forty or even fifty years as we now do. Thus, if their libido, or (sex drive) drooped and dropped, it didn't' really matter. Now with the implications of a potential "pink pill eventfully on the market (Viagra for women) the fact that many women are interested in continuing their sex life is out in the open. However, women need to be responsible and do their research. As I have mentioned in prior articles, staying healthy and sexually active requires taking responsibility and getting educated. You really need to know what is available, and the risk benefit ratio of every product. You know your body better than anyone else. Pay attention to it.

Men too are impacted. Many men find their erections aren't as firm or frequent or last as long as they once did. This is normal. Talk to your doctor to check out your physical health. Don't be afraid to use prescription aids available. But, do remember truth in advertising. TV and print ads tend to race through and fudge the small print. Not all prescriptions work for all people all the time. Many have side effects or aren't appropriate in specific conditions or are counter indicated with other medications. So, don't be ashamed to ask questions or acknowledge the specific prescription or over the counter aid you are trying.

Remember Jack Nicholson as aging playboy Harry Sanborn in the delightful movie, Something's Gotta Give? (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0337741). He takes Viagra which can kill you when mixed with nitroglycerin. He has chest pains and is in the in emergency room when he is asked if he's taken Viagra. He lies and when told by medical practitioner, "good", then they can give him the needed nitroglycerin, Harry, leaps off the table, embarrassed. Everyone over 50 in the audience I was in laughed because it hit home. Denial runs rampant when we seek additional help for our sexual lives. My advice, don't drop out. Tune in and tune up and use what is available to keep intimacy and joy alive.

1. Go back to basics… create a romantic atmosphere, and view sexy movies together. Not alone and not solo porn. I mean together, like the old days.

2. Spice is Nice. Break your routine. Do something fun. Use sex toys if that's your thing. Whatever floats your boat between two consenting adults is OK.

3. Exercise for your mind and body… including exercising some internal organs such as kegels for both women and men.

4. Always check with your health professional to make sure your external and internal chassis is in good shape.

5. Don't run on empty, take care of yourself and have fun.

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