I spend many hours a week listening to single people struggling to find someone to love and be loved by. Often, they have been married, widowed or divorced, or some have never been in a long term committed relationship. Whether they are bitter, afraid or simply don't know how to date, learning to maneuver today's dating scene always takes some education and effort.
Perhaps the biggest hurdle is that most people don't realize that just about everyone they meet has some of the same insecurities they do and that no one has an Olympic gold medal in the brave greet and meet "meat market." This is a particularly challenging concept to women who tend to believe that men have it easy and can have anyone they want. While it is true that in our society dating is often easier for men than for women, it is not true that most men don't have their hang ups as well. Yes, because of the fact that there are more over 50 single women than men; men do have a numbers advantage leading to greater selection. However, numbers don't mean everything. By the time the sexes have reached the half century mark, women often are the more knowledgeable about what makes a relationship work.
The trick is simply to get out of the safety zone of your home or work environment and go about doing activities that you enjoy. Getting involved with others around mutual interests pretty much guarantees that you might have a good time. You may or may not meet the prince or princess of your dreams, but you will be out of your comfort zone, you will be networking and you might even have a good time. Be it a museum, golf lesson, movie group, hiking or cycling club; whatever turns you on, as the Nike ad says: "Just Do It!" Another important point to remember is that beauty really is in the eye of the beholder, especially your own. Smooth or wrinkled skin, model thin or a few extra pounds. So what? There something for everyone. I remember one client, age 50 who lost about 100 pounds which still left her weighing around a hefty 250. She met a lovely military man whose comment was "thank goodness there's something to hold on to. I'm glad you have some curves to you." She married him and last I heard they remained deeply in love.
My message: Get out. Go out. Sexy is inside of you. Do what you love to do with joy. It will be infectious and who else knows where that joy may lead?
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