Saging with Too Much Zest?

A few Friday's ago, as I was looking forward to and busily planning a weekend trip, I wound up in the George Washington University Emergency Room instead. The fact that it's a Trauma 1 center and that staff couldn't be nicer did little to ease my concerns. My doctor had already called in, so to my surprise and delight, I did not have the hours of long wait that Steph, my Executive Assistant, had prepared me for. My books went unread and there was no need for my carefully packed food.

Why did I end up in the emergency room on my Friday night, you may ask? I had had some internal lower back pain off and on for months. It wasn't muscular, and I believed it was either kidney or uterus-related. An ultrasound showed a small cyst on my right ovary, which if not malignant is concerning, but not a big deal. Still, as I was being checked by various specialists of Western and Eastern orientation, the pain continued to get worse. My doctor, telling me I'm not a complainer, urged me to go to the emergency room and get a CAT scan.

Steph sat with me until my husband flew in from hurricane territory in Florida. He managed to get on one of the few planes out of Jacksonville and arrive at my bedside looking as if could use a hospital bed for sleep. After going through the procedure, thoroughly body-scanned and diagnosed, I left that evening.

The good news is that nothing significant was discovered. The bad news is that no one knows what causes my pain. But, red-faced, I now have an idea. I've increased my exercise routine significantly these last few months, especially adding more Pilates workouts. Now, for those of you unfamiliar with this wonderful concept, Pilates focuses on core strength and requires much "C" shaped back rolling alternated by long stretching. I wonder if even though I am not aware of pain as a result of the classes, my lower back could be getting the kind of deep muscular workout that has caused it to hurt? I will ask my teacher and also request that I am watched very carefully. Hopefully, the answer can be that simple to find.

Either way, this experience is a reminder of how quickly life can change. One missed step or an errant gene, one car wreck or illness, can alter your life instantly. With humility, I once again am reminded of how tenuous life is.

Is Eighty the New Fifty?

Time Magazine makes a good argument that this is the case, at least in the business world. However, I prefer the more honest saying, "80 is the new 80." Anyone not yet there has some wonderful role models to emulate. Certainly when one looks at the accomplishments of today's businessmen, scientists and even enduring rock stars, the retirement age of 65 seems an outmoded and an inappropriate holdover from former times when life stopped sooner. Those who want to retire at 65 and need government help to do so should have it. But for those who want to keep on going, let's start thinking out of the box and not let discriminatory ageism stand in their way.There's Warren Buffett, strumming his ukulele, hosting his Woodstock for capitalists. There's the rich and irascible oil man, T Boone Pickens, trying to save the world with his own TV ads and organization. (And he's not even running for office!) There's Bruce Springsteen whose energy still makes my blood pump. Not to mention Neil Diamond, 67, Mick Jagger, 64, and Tina Turner, 68, who are still filling arenas. And 82 year-old Tony Bennet who has come back from retirement stronger than ever.
So, dear FiftyAndFurthermores, think about what you want as you sage. As many Silver Celebrities and everyday folk have shown, the future can be what you make it, at fifty OR at eighty.

It's Botox for You, Dear Bridesmaids

Beautiful weddings have always been a young woman's dream, but this seasoned soul has a different view. This summer I read a NY Times article entitled It's Botox for You, Dear Bridesmaids, regarding the trend of brides paying for their attendants to cosmetically alter their looks.I know I am of the Botox Generation, and I'm not opposed to using it, nor are many of my friends. However, I have a different slant about the new youthful craze where the bride gives Botox party treatments as her wedding gifts to her bridesmaids. It really makes me wonder about the essential values of my age-mates. Sure, you want to give something memorable to those who matter enough to you to share that special moment. And of course, beauty sells. So I can understand the allure. But for me at my age, I would hope my friends would feel wonderful enough about themselves without my "needling" them. I will take my friends any way they choose. If they want face lifts, Botox, restyling and whatever else makes them happy, that's OK with me. But should I ever get re-wed (perish the thought) at this age, I love who is in my life and how they look. They've worked hard to be how and where they are.I might give them a rest and relaxation trip or a night at the theater or just a night hanging out together with wine and champagne, reliving, crying and laughing down memory lane. But I'll happily leave the Botox to the "babes" and take my friends "au natural."

Senior Citizens Bureau and Hurricane Ike

FiftyAndFurthermore.com received a plea for help this weekend from the Senior Citizens Bureau in response to the devastating Hurricane Ike that ravaged the Gulf Coast. Hurricane Ike landed in Texas on Saturday morning and wreaked havoc across 9 states, killing 17 people and destroying many communities along its path. As rescuers, emergency response teams, and volunteers fly into the storm torn regions to offer aid, the death count is likely to continue to climb. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hurricane_Ike
The SCB is a national, Houston-based, non-profit organization that provides services and community resources for the elderly, children of the elderly, and other caregivers, advocates and professionals. SCB currently serves over 400,000 members with information and support through http://www.seniorcitizensbureau.com/ and Elder Info Line (1.877.ELDER.55/1.877.353.3755), a 24-hour hotline for SCBmembers and those with vision limitations. (SCB) (http://www.seniorcitizensbureau.com). SCB's mission is to provide easily accessible information, guidance, and dispute resolution to the senior community and industry, and to bridge the gap between the elderly client and the service provider.
FiftyAndFurthermore will do all that we can to help those impacted by Hurricane Ike and asks our readers, visitors, writers and community to do the same.
How?Contribute:FundsFood HousingClothingGlassesHearing AidsMedicationLetters and HugsJoin a rescue team Household goods
Some specific issues that are facing the FiftyAndFurthermores in the aftermath of Hurricane Ike:
Keeping the community intact after the devastation and loss of lifeStarting over againFamily disruptionEconomic lossLoss of history, family photos, etc. Medical needsLoss of property and pets
Those of us over the age of fifty are in a unique position to offer wisdom, education and hugs. For those of us who can, donate funds to the victims who will need aid in the aftermath of Ike's destruction. FiftyAndFurthermore will keep you updated as to what you can do.
One thing not to do, is to rush to the hurricane scene unless you have specific training and/or are with a select aid group such as SCB, the Red Cross, or the American Group Psychotherapy Association's Trauma Division. Organizations such as these have resources that help match your skill set and ability with the jobs that are needed (on site, or off site). It's important to help, but it's also crucial to volunteer and make a difference in the capacity where you can do the most good. Warning: helpers with good hearts but without a plan or sustaining community often wind up as "collateral damage" instead of healers.
My thoughts are with all of you during this difficult time on the Gulf Coast.
Dr. Dorree Lynn

Seven Years Later

September 11, 2001 changed our lives forever. Americans understood that they were no longer impregnable and no longer safe from the kinds of assaults that most of the world had already endured. We all became a bit more anxious, a bit more concerned, and a bit more aware of the preciousness of life. Seven years later, 9/11 continues to shape our thinking, feeling and actions. This gaping hole in our terrain stands to remind us that it can, and most probably will, happen again. When we vote on November 2nd, we will be choosing a leader to protect us from these threats. I believe that no matter who we vote for, we need to be aware that 9/11 has taught us the single most important lesson. We are no longer alone. America is in fact part of the larger world and part of the global economy. Thus, we cannot bully our way to power. As we consider voting, consider issues, not personalities. Which candidates understand this fact best? Which candidates will build a secure country with minimum chance of war? Who will have learned from the past, and will do their best in the present to keep our future alive and growing? 9/11 changed our lives forever. It is up to us today, and election day, to vote out of our convictions, courageously.

The Juno Effect in Juneau?

What Bristol Palins Pregnancy Tells Us About U.S. Society
and the New Face of the GOP

What does the movie Juno have in common with Juneau, the capital of Alaska? Governor Sarah Palin & her pregnant teen daughter. The media has been abuzz about the exciting newcomer to the 2008 presidential election, Governor of Alaska Sarah Palin who is now McCain's tough cookie, beautiful, blue collar running mate. Well now the news gets even juicier as journalists flock to the scene - Bristol Palin, her 17 year-old daughter, is five months pregnant. Governor Palin knew that her daughter was pregnant during her announcement last week that she was running for VP."

In fact, Bristol was photographed at the convention holding her little brother during her mother's speech, and newspapers around the country are now re-using the pictures of the pregnant Bristol cuddling her napping sibling. I don't know if the captured image was just a natural picture, a tender moment caught on film of the Palin family, or if the shots were set up by the McCain camp, but either way, it is pure PR genius for the conservative Republicans. Notice I am not being accusatory and implying that the pictures were necessarily "staged." I have no doubt that Bristol is a wonderful big sis, but one can't deny that the pictures have a great spin for the media who will either be eating up the images of her as a loving mom-to-be, or exposing her baby bump pictures next week on YouTube.

Rumors are flying that perhaps Sarah Palin's infant son is in fact her daughter's child. This rumor has been denied and shot down of course, but the political mudslinging is ramping up as the Republicans accuse the Democrats of starting the lie. All the world's a stage. Last season, on ABC's hit TV show Desperate Housewives, Bree Hodge (played by Marcia Cross) faked a pregnancy to cover up for her teen daughter who was unwed and pregnant. Bree wore a pregnant body suit in front of her unknowing friends and sent her young daughter away to have the child and avoid social embarrassment. This plot reminds me of the issues that were so common in the 50's and 60's before women had much of a choice.

Whether it is a blockbuster movie like Juno, Wisteria Lane, or Pennsylvania Avenue, Bristol Palin's pregnancy is just one example of a growing trend among American families. Teen pregnancy is at an all-time high in the US right now, and abortions are at a 30 year low. An amazing number of grandparents are now becoming parents all over again to their children's children. Many voters will able to relate to Sarah Palin's situation, but many others will question why the governor put her name in the hat to be nominated for VP, knowing that her daughter would be put under the microscope.

One has to wonder, if Bristol Palin wasn't using contraception, then why not? The contraception issue is quite contradictory among journalists. The Washington Post reports, "Except Sarah Palin opposes programs that teach teenagers anything about contraception. The explicit sex-ed programs will not find my support,' she said in answering a questionnaire from the conservative Eagle Forum during her 2006 gubernatorial race." But research shows that abstinence programs are failing our teens because it's nave to think that we can prevent teens from having sex, it just doesn't work.

In contradiction to this, TIME Magazine reports, "She is Christian and pro-life, but also a supporter of birth control: she's a member of Feminists For Life (FFL), an anti-abortion, pro-contraception organization. In 2002, she wrote a letter to FFL stating that she had adamantly supported [their] cause since [she] first understood, as a child, the atrocity of abortion.'"

Is Palin's daughter getting married for the sake of the child, and because she loves her partner? Or is it because Bristol feels pressured to "do the right thing" while standing in the center of America's glaring spotlight? Statistics indicate that teenage marriages have a tough time surviving, especially if they start off with an extra bundle of joy. Bristol will certainly have many obstacles to face as a young mother, even with the unconditional support and love that that her parents have promised her. I would hope that my own daughters would want to talk to me about their sexual relationships and contraception. What would I tell them to do? It would depend on many factors, such as the length of the relationships, economics and family support. As a psychologist, the one thing I know for sure is that there is no easy answer.

Diversity of Choice

Whether or not you are a Republican or Democrat, living on opposite sides of a red or blue line, if you are over fifty, you've got to be aligned on one issue. America has come a long way, baby, since our generation cast our first ballot. Whoever anticipated that the choice of Presidential contenders would come in almost as many flavors as Haagen Dazs ice cream?

With John McCain's candidacy, the Republicans have given us a home run opportunity to overcome ageism. John McCain is 72, which means that, should he win the presidency, in four years a 76 year-old man will lead our country. If he's reelected for a second term, in eight years we will be celebrating an octogenarian's birthday. In an era where 65 is still considered the age of impending senescence and a bench line for retirement, McCain stands as an example of hope and possibility for all those in their sixties and over whose companies consider them obsolete. For it's still the "young Turks" who tend to get hired instead of those with experience. The former are more often let out to pasture with minimal respect, opportunity or even the once requisite gold watch. Assuming he doesn't become ill or develop Alzheimer's, McCain's candidacy should help break ageism barriers and give age-mates like us a chance to show the world our years are to be honored and should not be taken in vain.

Who would've thought that McCain would choose Sarah Palin as his running mate? A 44 year-old mother of five, the governor of Alaska who started her career in the PTA, a woman who runs her home while still living in the limelight. The true definition of a working mom. She and her husband have always worked with their hands and are portrayed as working class people who have risen as the result of the American dream. She was just a child when the civil rights workers were being murdered in the name of integration. Forty four years later, Sarah Palin stands as a symbol of the wondrous change in America.

Then, we have Hillary. No, she didn't become our presidential candidate. But she did manage make "18 million cracks" in a glass ceiling that will continue to shatter. Hillary is 62 and her energy amazes me. Like her or not, she is a woman who has seasoned well with age. I remember hearing her speak 15 years ago, still hesitant and shrill. As with a great athlete, she has continued to train and practice and become a significantly better politician and speaker than she was in her youth. So, with Hillary we have both a female and an age-mate who exemplifies that aging can be gift to which we aspire.

And finally we have Barack. Forty years ago, I lived through the civil rights movement, marked by such incidents as Arkansas governor Orville Forbus (1955 to 1967) ordering the Arkansas National Guard to stop African American students from attending Little Rock Central High School, and the death of Michael Schwerner and others. At that time, none of us could have fathomed the emergence of a hybrid such as Obama who could have chosen to pass as white, but instead embraced his rich heritage and identified himself as an African American. In this capacity, he has given us the opportunity to vote for him as president of our country.

Though I care passionately about who wins, that is not my point. My awe is how much America has changed in the over 40 years that I've had the privilege to vote. I want my children and grandchildren to understand this sense of history. Our candidates reflect this phenomenal change. It is now possible for anyone, any age, any gender and any ethnic group to consider running for the highest office of this land. And if that is possible in the political stratosphere, just think what the rest of us are capable of. No matter one's ethnic background or age, the opportunity for advancement exists. We are developing what America set out to be: a land of opportunity, where hard work and ability matter, no matter what you look like or how old you may be, and can bring you to the brink of the presidency. What an Amazing country this is.