Welcome Home, Now Please Leave: Boomerang Generation (Redux)

College graduation used to mean applauding your kid's accomplishments, then remaining available on the phone for their lows and highs as they job hunted for their future career. Nowadays, in our current economy, the scenario is just as likely to be; "Hey Dad, Mom or both, I wanna' come home." With the joy of seeing your offspring again and the vision of no longer paying college tuition, you gladly respond, "How long?" Your returning loved one, now part of the Boomerang Generation, may well say, "a few weeks, the summer or I don't know." What's a loving parent to do? Of course you want to see and help your conflicted fledgling adult. And of course you want to give him or her hugs. But, the reality of dirty laundry in their room or possibly all over the house again, or a twenty something partying into the night and sleeping half the day, or wondering why they haven't found a job yet irks you. "No, I am not going to pay for graduate school," you may think or say. "And whatever happened to the idea of lining up a job or even summer travel or something to do before graduation?" Yes, you tried talking to your darling for months. And, (s)he convincingly told you about how hard it was studying for exams, finishing all the work they had to do first, and adjusting to the significant other that was no longer around. And by the way, dear parent, will you pay for my car to be shipped home - and what about the cat(s) or dog(s) I've acquire along the way?

As a psychologist, I find my empathy equally divided between today's befuddled (often feeling entitled) youth and comparably torn parents who tried to give their children so much of what they didn't have growing up, all the while attempting to instill "good" values. There's no winner here. Parents, whether in nuclear or blended families, are torn between opening their arms to their returning nester and once again wanting to kick them out. And if in doubt, after a few weeks, the feelings on both parents' and new college graduate often are: Welcome Home, Now Please Leave.