A Theme Worth Thinking About: Women and Peace

Last week, I was privileged to attend an event at the striking Swedish Embassy to honor PeaceXPeace founder Patricia Smith Melton's new book 60 Years, 60 Voices, celebrating the wisdom and stories of 60 Israeli and Palestinian women over 60 years. Listening to the presentation and talking to the many wonderful women (and men) I was privileged to meet, once again I was reminded of the many differences between women and men. Women are born in a word of wombs and circles. Men are born pointed and more linear. As a psychologist I have been known to say that women cooperate first, compete second. Men compete first, and then cooperate. I came away wondering what would happen if more women raised their powerful voices cooperatively in unison. What power they have. In fact, aren't women the ones who swung this last election?

Post Election Blues

There's a pall in Washington, DC these days and while it may not be as palpable throughout the land, I suspect it exists in states both red and blue. It's akin to a 22 month pregnancy. The baby is now born and the post partum depression is real bad. For many it's taken the form of staring vacantly at their favorite TV channel. What's Brit saying on FOX today, or Scarborough, Hannity and Combs, Rachel Maddow or Chris Mathews? CNN anchors? Yeah they're Ok. But they were relatively tame to begin with, so why start now? The McCain folk are trying to figure out what went wrong and how, as good Americans, to get behind Obama. The Obama folk, though elated, are mostly in a waiting game. The deed 's done. Now how do they nurse the newborn? And what kind of kid will this be any way?
For those who are planning to attend an inaugural ball, is this a fur coat fiesta? Or, in these economic times, is the stylish cloth coat just right? (Remember the Pat Nixon days? Yes, I know it's a different party, but the dilemma remains.) And what are Michelle and Jill going to wear anyway?
On the whole, though many still have bells on their toes and others are in sack cloth and ashes, most everyone is still turning on TVs, listening to radio ( sort ofthat poor dying breed) and flipping what newspapers are left and seeing nothing. My advice: Take a breath and keep going. Have no fear, the economic crunch will get worse and post inaugural evaluations are yet to come. New issues will return to pique your interest. But will it be like the passion of the past 22 months? Not likely.

Healing Our Political Divide

Whether or not one voted for Barack Obama, both sides seem to realize that his election helped make history. With Mr. Obama's election, the question of race in American society is not eliminated. However, it is a step in the right direction. The overwhelming mandate for Obama signifies many things both actual and symbolic. One of the most significant affirmations is our evolving attitude towards possibility, race and culture. In essence, though technically American, Obama's story is an immigrant's tale. He is a man of humble origins who, through the consistency of mother's and grandparents' love and his own ability, hard work and desire, has risen to America's highest office. Truly, his election is a symbol of the possibility of the American Dream.

During his concession speech, John McCain, a true American hero and a man of courage, rose to one of his finest moments. He pledged his support to the winner and by his words and demeanor urged his supporters to do the same.

The next months, probably years, will test Obama and his selected team's skills in unfathomable ways. Whatever success they have will depend not only on their ability, but also on us. This is not a time for further political divides. May we all be Americans and continue to voice our differences, diversity and support. When faced with disappointment, despair and hope, let us choose hope.

Election Day: Getting Personal about Sex and Politics

I am AARP's sexpert on the Retirement Living Television (RLTV) network show, "My Generation." My segment is called "On the Couch." and can also be viewed on aarp.org (click on "TV" at the top of the home page), on various local CNN channels, and on this website FiftyandFurthermore.com (click on "Dr. Dorree Lynn" on the home page, then click on "Dr. D Live.") I am also a psychologist with a private practice and I've been in this field for almost four decades - which means there's little about a couple' relationship and sex life that I haven't been privy to. I list some of my credentials as it's not too surprising that during this emotional Election Day, some of my thoughts turn from politics to sex. I find it striking that throughout this almost two year campaign little about the candidates' sex lives has seemed of interest. Well, that's not totally true. Of course the subject came up around Hillary and Bill. And yes, there was a bit of journalistic writing around John McCain's relationship with his first wife, Carol. But to my knowledge, there's been a paucity of media exploration about each couple's sexual relationship.
I know that many people wonder what will go on the master bedroom of the White House for the next four years. Sure there's pillow talk. But what else? Does anyone wonder if McCain uses Viagra? Or is Michelle and Barack's fist bump all they do?
I doubt that I am more prurient than most, but am simply stating the obvious. I well remember the press asking Betty Ford how often she sleeps with her husband. Bless that irrepressible and honest woman. Without missing a beat she said; "As often as I can." I can't help but wonder how our next first lady will respond to that question, be it openly asked or not.